The transition between the years offers so many of us the opportunity to sit with ourselves and reflect – to reflect over what went well, not so well, and what could have been better? We check ourselves against the goals we made 12 months ago, and make new ones for the year ahead, and as we begin to dawn upon the hope of a fresh start, the weight of the undone and incomplete weighs on us.
The Disappointing ‘Reality’.
The self-doubt begins to creep in. The mind begins to flurry in restlessness. The imposter syndrome starts knocking on the door. And the clarity and vision becomes fine clouds of a once upon time imagination.
It’s not even mum guilt, it’s a deep sense of disappointment. ‘I wish I had followed through with…’, ‘I wish I had done more of….’ and all these scornful voices take up space in our mind, throwing us into the depths of a dark and hopeless space.
Tears run down our face. The disappointment becomes painful. The weight of ‘it all’ feels heavier than before, and the urgency to ‘do something’ becomes more prominent.
And yet a faint whisper murmurs to you amidst the noise that surrounds you, ‘Keep going, gentle and steady’, and slowly something inside starts to take a gradual shift.
January, a Month of Renewed Hope?
For so many of us, January brings its own sense of hope – a hope for change, a hope for something new, something better, something more. More happiness, more peace. We find ourselves with a renewed self-belief. A beautiful recognition of our ability to achieve the things we always wanted to, to fully show up in our full capacity, as individuals, as mothers, care-givers, and every other role we have been blessed with.
The hope to do and be comes with an encouragement to act. To finally act! The internal narrative takes a shift. One from being passive, receptive and coasting-like, to action taking, assertive and mindful. Plans are made, intentions are born, and actions are fuelled with belief that change is possible.
The ‘Small Stuff’ is The Big Stuff
There have been so many times where I wanted to give up. I lost hope, I lost faith in myself, I felt confused, unsure. Even with a background in Psychology, and understanding the principles that I knew and taught, I realised that there is so much we learn but only truly understand with depth when we go through these things ourselves.
And that’s not failure, and that’s not weakness.
It’s a learning curve, and we are all on our own unique learning journey. For some of us, we choose to actively learn about the things that will compound and create great change in our lives and create generational richness for our families and know that it starts with us – us mothers.
With the year coming to an end, it was easy to find myself scanning through the months, the targets I had set for myself as an individual and a mother, and the first thing I began to notice were the things I hadn’t done.
There were business cards that needed sending out, I hadn’t ordered the mastic gum, I needed to sort out some important documents and I really needed to take a deep dive and revisit how the kids were progressing, check for gaps and create a personalised plan for each them for the term ahead.
But what I was skipping were things I had done and failed to acknowledge. The fact that I weaned my baby for two years and chose to feed him despite how difficult it felt. I had failed to acknowledge all the love poured in, the heart-felt meals, the moments were I stayed calm even though it felt hard. I didn’t acknowledge the amount of attention that went into calmer, warmer and slower mornings and how it’s a constant learning curve when homeschooling the kids and creating a culture of love and learning in our home.
And the mums I worked with this year. The ones who grew deeper connections with their children and overcame the digital dependency that was creating cracks in their communication and capacity to bond at a higher level. The mum who overcame her imposter syndrome and fear of failing only to now create a new identity and pursue her vision to help other people. The mother who spent the last 15 years stuck, and now sounds different on the call – her energy reclaimed and the hope in herself has taken a new shape (Read her story here). What about them?
And what about for you? What about all the small moments that aren’t really small at all?
The times when you held space for your little one, gave in kindness, presented with love and sincerity. What about how you ardently care and cherish those around you and your being naturally and automatically nourishes your home and your family?
An Invitation to Acknowledge
Acknowledge it all. Because no matter how much or little recognition we get for all the small things, we showed up, are trying, and constantly growing.
That deserves your recognition.
So as January unfolds, ask yourself – from a space clear, grounded and with compassion, what kind of person do I want to be this year? And how does this version of me honour herself, and how does this version of me contribute to the life of the little people around me?
And if you’d like to explore this and your year ahead through a 1-1 call, privately, you’re welcome to message me.
The Coaching Tent 